Not sure if I'm using the word wrong, but, to say, I am aspiring towards something!! That's what I'm trying for. Recently I've felt like I've been going through a depression, and just now, miraculously (??wtf is my word check??) I feel like I am coming out of it - or rather, aspiring to come out of it. I feel happy. And I know it's strange, but I haven't felt happy in a long time. I feel like, without realizing it, I have begun to stretch out my world. I used to be so gloomy thinking about how my life is so one-dimensional; I used to stress over meeting new people, making new friends, and even dating other guys. Now though, after shutting down those thoughts, I've been finding happiness in what I have rather than what I don't. And being comfortable with that I've rediscovered the things I already have. Kinda like yesterday, I went through all my old clothes and realized - I don't need any new clothes, the ones I already have are perfect! And there was a sudden newness to them too, like their potentional hasn't been fully explored yet. I've started to feel this way about other aspects of my life, especially when it comes to people I just casually know.
It's a good feeling. I hope that by writing this I don't forget, and also, I feel like just by writing, just now, I've discovered these things about myself. Yes, it's good. =) Really cool.
I'm looking forward to my birthday...I just hope that, not only 5 people show up and I get hurt. I just flashback to the Indigo thing and well yeah. Point is to not care right?? Haha, well I don't care as much as I think I will an hour before going. Ah well, what can you do?
Anyway that's depressing stuff! Happy. Happy. lol 15 people are already saying they're going, that's a lot!!
Arghh Essay to write...later
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