Saturday, May 30, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
just to say hi
SUMMERRRR OMG I <3 YOUUU
Makes me wanna do EVERYTHING!! It's like I'm coming out of my bloody shell of depression and just living!! YEAHHH SOOO happy. Everything just feels happier. It does that to you...doesn't it? hahha Well I'm a victim of pathetic fallacy then.
Ah it's just awesome.
I've got chores to do but I'm procrastinating rAWR. I just feel so unmotivated to do it by myself but I might as well............
Makes me wanna do EVERYTHING!! It's like I'm coming out of my bloody shell of depression and just living!! YEAHHH SOOO happy. Everything just feels happier. It does that to you...doesn't it? hahha Well I'm a victim of pathetic fallacy then.
Ah it's just awesome.
I've got chores to do but I'm procrastinating rAWR. I just feel so unmotivated to do it by myself but I might as well............
Thursday, May 7, 2009
a little....
Was thinking about the movie "A Little Princess" and suddenly the song came up and a flood of memories came over me. Memories of feelings that come along with that of the film. It's my childhood or ...the things I believed in.
Why am I having such a hard time explaining it?
Lol....well I want to feel that peace again. Sitting in the sunshine and looking out into the world and its mysteries. Is that so hard to find?
I found myself, but lost it again. I grasped it for but a moment before it slipped away through the trees. Sometimes I chase it. Sometimes I forget it's there, somewhere. Before long perhaps I am someone else, I am no longer it, but yet I still seek it. There is an infinite of possibilities, I am the one and am all at once. But what I want to be is not who I am, it is always what I will become.
Ok that didn't make sense. Basically...I am always thinking...the way I was when I was a kid is someone I want to be now. But is it really? Maybe it's time to let go of the past and look forward to being something different. I shouldn't wait for myself to "stabilize". I should embrace what I am becoming and work with it as best as I can.
But aren't I doing that already?
Maybe - that's the frustrating part. I'm filled with confusion again. Boo you seem far away from me but maybe I'm just far from you.
Just hang on.
Why am I having such a hard time explaining it?
Lol....well I want to feel that peace again. Sitting in the sunshine and looking out into the world and its mysteries. Is that so hard to find?
I found myself, but lost it again. I grasped it for but a moment before it slipped away through the trees. Sometimes I chase it. Sometimes I forget it's there, somewhere. Before long perhaps I am someone else, I am no longer it, but yet I still seek it. There is an infinite of possibilities, I am the one and am all at once. But what I want to be is not who I am, it is always what I will become.
Ok that didn't make sense. Basically...I am always thinking...the way I was when I was a kid is someone I want to be now. But is it really? Maybe it's time to let go of the past and look forward to being something different. I shouldn't wait for myself to "stabilize". I should embrace what I am becoming and work with it as best as I can.
But aren't I doing that already?
Maybe - that's the frustrating part. I'm filled with confusion again. Boo you seem far away from me but maybe I'm just far from you.
Just hang on.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
feeling...
confused...but tired...it disappears into memory...it fades away into normal happenstance...it just is...
and yet
something curls in my stomach; fear or excitement? I can't tell...
and yet
something curls in my stomach; fear or excitement? I can't tell...
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