If I think about the past...
I can just stand and wonder at the person I used to be.
There was so much feeling, liveliness, which now is spent with moments of silence, staring into the distance as if waiting for something.
How do I describe what I feel now, when my insides are motionless? When I feel pressed on the edge of something, not sure where to turn?
Where are those warm summer days? And even, those inspired winters?
If I can't be who I was, perhaps it's time to be something else.
And yet still, I find myself drawn to those impassioned feelings. I want to capture those moments which hang at the edges of realty. With a certain glance, a careful consideration, the possibility of inspiration can be accessed; a window to the world that is not exactly this world.
Even these words feel dead; like dry leaves on a winter's sidewalk.
