Was thinking about the movie "A Little Princess" and suddenly the song came up and a flood of memories came over me. Memories of feelings that come along with that of the film. It's my childhood or ...the things I believed in.
Why am I having such a hard time explaining it?
Lol....well I want to feel that peace again. Sitting in the sunshine and looking out into the world and its mysteries. Is that so hard to find?
I found myself, but lost it again. I grasped it for but a moment before it slipped away through the trees. Sometimes I chase it. Sometimes I forget it's there, somewhere. Before long perhaps I am someone else, I am no longer it, but yet I still seek it. There is an infinite of possibilities, I am the one and am all at once. But what I want to be is not who I am, it is always what I will become.
Ok that didn't make sense. Basically...I am always thinking...the way I was when I was a kid is someone I want to be now. But is it really? Maybe it's time to let go of the past and look forward to being something different. I shouldn't wait for myself to "stabilize". I should embrace what I am becoming and work with it as best as I can.
But aren't I doing that already?
Maybe - that's the frustrating part. I'm filled with confusion again. Boo you seem far away from me but maybe I'm just far from you.
Just hang on.
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