Another one....

No need to read this post - it's basically just me bitching about the topics that our prof gave us for an essay due tomorrow that I haven't even started. I can't do an essay unless it's presenting to me something that I can argue as a thesis. This one is strange, it's saying take diff. parts of the poem and analyze them individually. What does that mean? how exactly to I put that into a essay format?

That's all I have in me right now. We'll see how far this can go...

and now I invoke thy holy name...in vain

OMFG.

I finally, casually, out of CURIOUSITY, decided to look up my flicking grades on ROSI. Turns out my GPA is a crappy ass 2.27. I got a C in Canadian History last term - is this because of the tuts? Maybe... Even so, I find myself severelly distressed. I was expecting mass Bs and a few As. BUT NO. Highest mark so far is a B+. Apparently...I probably never checked my academic history for my first year because I got a D in TWO classes and this is coming as a shock to me. How am I supposed to become a teacher with marks like this? I thought, I need to do something with my life so I'm going to work towards a job. Big Mistake. Why am I relying on my so called 'smarts' in His/Lit to carry me into some sort of carrier in teaching? Holy crap how wrong I was. I thought, you know, I had this thing covered. Not exceptional but not bad either. And here I am swimming in a 2.27??! That is, basically, an average of 56%. No that is an average of 56%!!!!

Ugh...what am I going to do...what am I going to do...

I know...that Dickens shared a lot of the same views of Carlyle...in that they both believed in a sense of shared community and spirit. I know that Mark Twain made an effort to write as a realist instead of romanticism...I know that the Portugeuse were the first to really start sailing and exploring trade routes...and opened the race which eventually led to the discovery of the new world...I know that America was named after this explorer...person, named Amerigo Vespucci...and that they tried to amend that but couldn't because it stuck...

Anyway enough mumbling, my point is, what the crap is the use of it? No use...no use.

Holy fuck, I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself.

the past

A day in the life of a past me:

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Wednesday, January 15, 2003

ooo itz been so long has it not? normally id tell u this really funny story! DEMO~ive already told it more than once...o-negai? okie okie, considerabible...^-^ okie okie illl say it! (did i mention im strange?) well....last saturday me and a friend of mine went to out school, since peeps i kno go there for Saturday school and i wanted to introduce my friend to these friends..(*takes breath* wouldnt it b so much easier if i used names? but noooo) ne wayz, we were told to meet one of my friends, ill call him...Eli-chan! *stiffles laughter* at around 8:30am! omgosh! it took me 4eva to wake my friend up 2 get going! lol so we rushed there! and it turned out he wasnt even there yet! so we walked around the school and were talking really loud. everyone looked @ us as we passed by cause we were like. "ya...our school is so ghetto..member when we did this and blah blah blah..." lol cause not many of those kids actually go to our school regularly. nE whO "blah blah" happened and eventually we saw Eli-chan! and he came wid another friend of mine that i got to meet in person for the first time! ^-^ fun fun! ne wayz, i asked wat time they fig. my bf would b there and we all fig he'd b late cause he usually is. (lol sorry Boo) nE whO so my friend and i go to the vending machine so she can buy chocolate, next thing u kno! i hear foot steps behind me and BAM! there he is and he'd pushed me onto the vending machine, i was like "whoa!" aww! he had tooken the bus all da way there! cause he had a "feeling" i was coming (oooo) ne wayz, not a good first impression for my friend cause she was like "O.O *bacs away* literally...(kawaii Boo! lol!) ok ok so, we all talked a lil but unfortunatly class was gonna start soon, so my bf and my friend and i went up des stairs near my gymn. it was dark..and scary! but the bell rang so he had to go and i said my good byes. so i called my friend to go and she just said, "wait! come up here!! com on!" lol!! so i go upstairs...omgosh...she's opening a door and i see a sh*t load of snow come out...it was a door leading out onto the roof....yes ROOF of my school!!!!! LOL so she struggles a bit more and runs outside!! and starts dancing around! and writting her name in da snow wid her shoes! -_-U lol...omgosh so i call her bac cause i see people looking! even a teacher i think!!! so we run inside and leave a trail of snow behind...lol!! okie so we decide to leave, course we need to use the pay phone so i can get a ride...but NOOO bam! teacher comes in from behind, yelling at us, "girls! dont u kno wat time it is!?!?! u should b in class by now!! NAG NAG BLAH NAG..." now im TRYING not to laugh my ass off!! and we'r elike "yes miss. yes miss" lol by walking down the hall! she goes, "itz not funny girls! i saw u here VERY early too! being late is no..blah blah" and then that was it we started laughing even more...and my friend goes, "come on lets run" under her breath. and we dashed off, now im guessing the teacher just guessed we were running to class...lol...but as we're running she's still not far behind us! so we get to the side door of the school (damn slippery) and we see all these people passing by, i run out the door, but i hear my companion cry out in pain! and my name is being called! as i turn around i c a glimpse of her on the ground! she'd tripped and fallen on her behind! lmfruitinao!!! so i run bac and help her up, i go "lets go, lets go!" *shakes head* u kno, no one helped to stop? LOL i mean comon, 2 girls u neva seen before in ur life come running out of ur school and ur not the least bit curious y dey running SO fast? AHH well ne wayzwe gotz no way to phone my dad! so i suggest we go to the tim's near by, but of course we need time to recover from our constant laughter (people r STILL watching) and specially her fall....eh heh...eh HEH HEH....lol ventually we start walking but i notice itz not the street...so i tel my friend and we both agree that maybe the street we're on should lead to the same place...somehow...*looks around* nuh-uh...it didnt...we got lost, sum mini-mall id neva heard of is where we stopped, cause she insisted i did kno where we were going, (i did!!!) lol ne who, i phoned my dad and he tried helping us but he didnt kno where we were either! so i decide im gonna keep on going where i thought to and she comes along, ventually we get to a main street and see tim's in the distance! HOORAY! ^-^ but we were COLD i could NOT feel my legs, guy baddddd weather. ne wayz, so we walking and ventually sum car passess by and honks @ us, now my first thought is, "wth...y is someone honking @ us when we look so ugly in these..." *turns to look* itz DADDY! so we run after the car and hop in! *claps * yays! wat an adventure! dad even took us to tim's and got us coffee to warm us up! *heehee..rememberable. tru story! sorry if itz long *looks at time* shit itz nine man, *sniffles* im loney....^-^ till next time

HoSHi*

============


Scary isn't it? Aren't you glad I'm not like that anymore? Holy sneakers it scares the crap out of me.


--------------------------------

We stood on the roof of the school, looking towards the horizon to watch storm clouds pass by in the distance, just like Angel had predicted. Tory's lips were curved in what I had grown to tell was deep thought. I myself was too occupied by my hunger to think of anything else - to me, my stomach didn't care if there was bad weather. We needed more food, and fast.
"Why do more people come...?" I whispered, more out of exasperation than annoyance.
Tory turned to me, the frown disappearing. "Anthony has a lot of vision. People flock to him."
I knew she couldn't see so I made a disgusted face.
"How is it, by the way?" she asked, ignoring my silent disapproval.
"It's dark, there's huge storm clouds, just like she said."
"Well, we should try anyway. It shouldn't take much to find a PIG. Honestly I like hunting them better than the animals..."
I sighed and watched that frown of thought return. "I still don't like it though."
"Something off?"
"A lot of things."
She nodded in understanding and we stood in the harsh wind for many moments, enjoying the peace even though our stomachs cried out in agony.
"Is it sad that I'm craving bacon so badly right now?" she asked with a dorky smile.
"Heh. No, I don't blame you. I don't blame you one bit."

-A conversation between Tory and I before heading out to find food. Yr 3 after Invasion, Winter.

---------------

It's bloody 1am, okay? I know it's shitty writing...

lonely winter began

The fierce wind howls through the cold streets and my mind is swept up with it.
It paves way for emptiness, leaving a gaping hole that howls through the night.
There is only the black stuff which flakes speckle like the obscured night sky
That the branches reach up to as if to part and save us from the thick, grey clouds.

The moon, the sun, and the man suffer blindness and wane without the other's company,
Only to reunite in the end of the lonely winter.

dead blog

Blogging is dead so sometimes I wonder - what's the point? No one really "cares" about the stuff people write - that's why twitter was invented!! Why read the WHOLE post when you can just get small little updates of your friends lives? Who cares to read a huge-ass post anyway?

I'm not meaning to be cynical - even though the whole above statement seems to be dripping with bitterness. Quite honestly I fall into that category too - it's not like I haven't neglected my friends' blogs. Anyway did I come here to talk about blog?

F no. I really came here because I don't know what to do. I just had my last class and now I'm left to simply wait for my exams to fall and crush me. I'm too tired to do...you know...stuff...that could help me with the exam - so what should I do now?

What were some of my goals?

...Okay, besides you CB. We both know I'm not going to work on you right now.

Why not?!

Well...cause...there's a lot to think about and my brain hurts atm.

You always say that. ALWAYS. You're just lazy.

True say.


??? Yeah I'm tired okay.

I want to draw - like, something good. Something like the stuff I used to pull out of my ass. The only thing is that I suck...well, I esp. suck on tablet, I mean, and I'm too lazy to get out paper and shit....so I go to my table...which turns out frustrating...*rant rant rant*

ThE END!

cool quote that fits my character a lot of the time...unfortunately.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
- George F. Will