-.-

Ughhh feeling sooo sick, tired, and grumpy. I have a midterm on Thursday for a class that I've !unintentionally! (I know hard to believe) missed 3 times. I always feel this immense amount of guilt...like especially when I think about how she must think (the prof) must think that I just don't like her class and am skipping out purposefully. She's a nice lady though...but not the best teacher...but that doesn't mean I'd skip just because...

Anyway I've just been feeling heavily anxious. I've quit work and yet still I don't feel like I can catch up. It's just like Ashling was saying last night that you just slop things together never really getting things done properly...and she is a way harder worker than I am! Yet I feel the same, always struggling to juggle everything and know as much as I can know...to me that's half-assing. So now that I've quit, I'm still half-assing? No...I don't know, maybe now I'm only 1/4 half-assing. I do see that I've put somewhat more time/energy into it. I *definitely* haven't missed as much school as I used to. Just last Thursday I came down with something and I haven't been able to shake it off...Comes in waves. Some days good some days bad. Luckily I managed to hand in 2 essays that were due yesterday...Felt so sweet. Wasn't up late into the night freaking out going omfg how am I going to finish this holy shit...No I finished at around 1pm and then spent the rest of the day resting trying to get better...(apparently failing). Just go away stupid almost cold! Doesn't help that I have my period...oh man I'm so sore everywhere.

*Whiiiiiiiiiiineeeeeeeeeeeeeee*