That was a horrible "ahhh"...not very heart felt. Have I mentioned that I HATE doing research? I believe I have. I hold the "seeds" of an interesting essay but I can't bring myself to tend and grow them. It's so much WORK. Doesn't that sound lazy? Like really lazy? I don't know if that is really the issue here. Perhaps a small part...thinking about all the work. That's not really IT though. I feel like I step in one direction and I want to back track and explore the other direction. And before I know it I've explored so many different directions that I've run out of time.
"Just write!" someone screams, "add the details later!"
But but but but BUT WHAT DO I WRITE?
What. That is the huge question there. It's not that I can write one thing but it's writing 8 pages of things while tossing in quotes here and there that gets me. Omfg. Hyeah. I'm panicking!! ARGHH. WAHZ. No, it's not like it's due tomorrow. Oh my god I'm so proud of myself for that. But still...can I will, I? Can I will myself to?
It's all almost over. Then exams. Then summer school. Then rinse, repeat cycle. So not really almost over. I'm an eternal student. In fact, I can't imagine myself NOT being in school. What will I do when I'm not in school? I like learning...actually. I like learning about English...stuff. Even though I'm prob not the best for this crap...
Sigh what am I doing. I haven't even hit a wall yet because I haven't started. :< .........................Sometimes I feel like. It all amounts to nothing. Sometimes, it makes me sad. Other times, I sit on my couch next to kitty and I feel so comfortable and warm and don't care that I'll never accomplish anything.
I'm talented. So what?
No comments:
Post a Comment