Let's goooo

So time to get back into the "game", mainly, get back to real life. I've been vegetating for the last week, doing pretty much nothing productive. Although I am still sick I wanna get back on course. If there was one thing I wanted to be proud of this year it was my marks. Hopefully I manage to make myself proud.

All other things have been literally going to shit. I haven't written in officially forever. Nothing productive or artistic has come from these hands. I also haven't been to work in forever. My capacity for caring about that place has been dwindling. My social life has also been completely reduced, and I realized, tragically, is that the reason I like staying at work is because I like the people there. I feel like I'm interacting with people, involved in a social world. Yeah...I'm sure a lot of them feel that way. Recently though my home/school life has been sucking me in. I'm starting to think though...well, maybe that's not so bad. If it's happening, it's happening right? I said to myself i'd "get out there" and "meet new people" but honestly right now I'm so just like...tunnel vision to complete school.

Jesus where does the time go? Seriously.

Well whatever, take it as it comes! I anticipate quitting work after this Christmas, and honestly I think they will be happy for it. S. has become a second K. to me, totally ruining my happiness that had emerged from K.'s leaving. Whatever...now she just seems like a joke to me. I guess it's true I do have a lot of sick time...but that's bad for me right?! Like I mean, do I WANT to get sick? NO! I don't go out drinking every night and all that crap...

Anyway enough ranting. This has fallen onto, CONFIDENCE! If my work says shit about me I'll be like...whatever I know who I am, right? I don't need this place. (Even though it's a pretty good place to work.) But time to move on right? I got plans, things I wanna do. I figure if I quit work I'll start volunteering and stuff. And most importantly I wont compare myself to anyone else.

Just do what I gotta do.