ahhhh osap, you and your newly added stress. i should have just went in in person and filled out my app. that way. well, i guess things can happen...parental income verification will be needed...etc
i haven't updated in so long b/c ive been so tired lately...today i feel super tired. tom i have an exam and i -should- be studying atm but...ugh ugh ugh so droswy. well i have the trip to quebec to say for that, but, it is also staying up late...working yesterday, etc.
summer is slipping away. blah blah blah, whine whine. what's new right? i've felt so bitter lately, pessimistic ? no bitter is perhaps better. i am not really expecting - anything -. Everything is exhausting...everything is one day after the other. but right now i feel like im dragging my feet, i guess i gotta keep picking it up until im at full speed again. even if im dragging through life, gotta make the best of it.
got a lot of stuff to take care of. hmm hmm...so uninspired.
doo do do doooooo
people are so exhausting...everythin is so exhausting.
i got nothing inspiring to say. i got nothing to say.
there's the tick tick of the clock and the impassioned bustle of the birds, the bees, the people around me. the sun is roaring and there's laughter, the roar of the lawn mower and the groan of the streets beyond. but me, me im in my mud puddle, im stuck in my own mud, my tears, my grimy feelings. stuck in that dark corner where no one can see me. struggling, squriming - can i get out on time? can i join everyone else in their gaity?
there's nothing. there's just this shell. gotta fill it gotta keep going. gotta roar, gotta laugh gotta cry. gotta be a flame that explodes, that never dies. like a pheonix, like a old, ancient soul.
blind but typing, typing away. tatter, todder, tittle, taddle, daddle. inconsistancy. imcomprhension.
finality.
4 comments:
ice cream night, my friend! after your exam and when you have had sufficient zzzzz times! =)
*hugs*
hope you had fun on your trip =) didn't even know you guys planned one until twitter, lol
yesss ice cream night. will i see you guys tonight, though?
no plans really...dad just goes, lets go to quebec! then we go, wazzam
Hey.
Hope you had fun in Quebec, when did you go?
You know, for some reason I like this post. Just very realistic and straight to the point in a story kind of way. The use of words too. But bitter indeed.
I just got texted from you right now...hmm.
Nothing is as it was expected when we were children huh?
Sad really. No one told us it would be this way.
Your post made me think.
So exhausting. Everything. A circle. The day begins and finishes, and where are we at the end of the day?
It's...funny. I never had these thoughts in Nicaragua. Everything was so straight forward, so...easy in that way. Granted, life there is not easier....just more simple.
I started even thinking...why am I even living in Canada? I'm at no point in life. I can just pick up and start afresh.
Damn, this is starting to be a post. Sorry.
Anyways, just wanted to drop in and say hi.
-ky
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