Does it really taste better the older it gets?
I'm so afraid of getting old. All the stories I read feature youth in their prime. I feel like I am reaching the tip of that, or maybe I currently am on it. It's hard to say, as it depends on what I consider my "prime". Is my prime still living at home, struggling through university and working part-time? No...but maybe if I mean age wise, or body-type wise, I guess. This is the time to live right? This is when people party and make out, get drunk and meet new people...no? Well I sure as hell aint doing the shitz like that - not that I want to.
Really what I want is independence - and I see money as a means for this. Then my mind wanders towards cold-blue and the absolute horror that all my opportunities might be passing me by as I fail to complete this novel.
Allow me to rant this age old tale (even if it sounds inspired by Shakes, cause it is):
What a demonic inconceivable substance that robs me of my humanity! For years have I suffered on the mere thought of black on white - white for lack of black, and nurtured many a salt-stained cheek for it. It is my own misgivings. My faults doubled upon themselves - guilt laid out onto guilt until I can no longer see the originator. I am my own enemy, not the white abyss. My mind is plagued by a love that may never be returned - whose pages may never be read. This blue, this cold that is frozen within my heart, is but an unborn child. If ever the two - cold and blue - meet on the page, to fill the white abyss with black-blue substance, then I will hit my prime.
I empty of my cartridge; words escape me yet again. Fruitless...fruitless time...yielding no advantages...thrusting me upon the whims of my hands....
3 comments:
I think it's something that most people are afraid of when they're young. The thing with living is that everything ages and it something that happens whether or not we want it to. It's unfortunate and fortunate at the same time.
I'm glad you like Coloring Tails! I don't think I did read the first part, so I'll have to look back over your blog and find it.
It's a constant battle with all of us in our 20s right now, especially if we're still in school and not financially independent. But I believe this will pass as you progress more in the direction you want to go. You'll be making some great changes this coming Feb. so that's a start. I believe you can do it! I understand the procrastination with your creative work and how you feel unmotivated, but I know that when you hit your stride, you will produce some amazing things. Your writing has improved so much since we've first met, and there is depth and creativity there that I really admire. Even your Shakespeare-inspired rant was cool! haha I wouldn't be able to write something like that. So keep on going despite your doubts! I'm sure that by the time you read this comment you may already be over the rut, but the feeling will come and go again, and when it does I hope you remember that I truly believe in you!
~ T
gosh I sound so cliche now that I think about it. You now how I get lol. I'm sorry I hope I didn't make you gag >__< but I was sincere and I really hope you feel better about things!
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